Booked first series pilot in NYC

Sometimes, the timing is very strange. In my case, it’s always been a little rambunctious. In my career thus far, I have found that when I book once, I usually book twice.

I booked “Eighty-Six” shortly after “One Woman”. I had a fantastic experience shooting with directors and co-creators Anders Giepel and Allan Bourne. This was my biggest role on screen as a lead ensemble, and I really felt my years of training show up for me.

Zoe is the malevolent owner of a nightclub in New York. Inherited from her late husband, she exploits her mourning to justify cruelty, making working conditions nightmarish for her remaining employees. She comes in hot, drunk, and on a BPD rampage; and she demands a heightened state from me.

Silver balloons on set. 📸 Aman Sandhu

In between set ups, I found myself using the time and space around me to get into the moment before. Littered around the dance floor are silver party balloons, as I get my body loose, warmed up, ame embodying the essence of toxic intoxication. People would stare at me or ask me what I was doing. This is what every movement class prepared me for — when I would need to warm my body in front of dozens of strangers and become fully open, vulnerable and present with my real emotions and fragile states.

I was in my own little world where I could filter out their gaze and focus on perfecting the presence of Zoe, sprinkling in the details of how she holds her drink, how she walk in stilettos in drunken states (without satirizing it). And my favorite, how to use my voice to scream at the top of my lungs without damaging my vocal chords or making the audience go, “That sounded like it hurt!” Anders and Allan essentially gave me a playground to scallywag around for three days. They accepted my creativity and take on the character with trust and a collaborative spirit, making me feel confident enough to give my best work to them.

Anders Giepel and Allan Bourne directing me. 📸 Aman Sandhu

I think this is the key to success for me. I feel most turned on when I feel like I have a friend on set who just trusts my work and my experience. I’ve always thrived in environments where artists are coming together in the spirit of bringing work alive, taking it to the next level.

You go months, sometimes years without booking a project. The odds are 1:1000. It starts to feed this loop of doubt that maybe you aren’t cut out for this. But when someone finally sees you and says ‘you’re right for this role’, it feels like destiny brought you through the door. That’s where I find the drive to keep going.

On “Eighty-Six”, I found my confidence. That is where I started telling myself, “I deserve to be here.”